Don Güill y Chile Mierda, response
In the spirit of Doctor Wagner, who I think is a Mexican lucha libre star…I shall proceed, and insert with my incisive prose.
I respond to Don Güill’s prettily packaged thrust, and parry.
“It all started when Pato (R.I.P.) said, “I’d love to now what the hell you’re doing in Chile”. Unwittingly, he touched on an question that I’d already had in store for my new Chileno FAQ. But a FAQ, even a Chileno FAQ, can’t explain a bloody corpse. So I continue:
Tomás Dinges, who is soon to grace the Halls of Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism, whose family hosted the Queen of England during her Visit to Chile, chose a more delicate yet equally poignant form of expressing Pato’s sentiment when he nudgingly proposed not only that I leave Chile but that I “go suck dick in Argentina”.”
1. When you refer to the Queen of England you use “Her Majesty,” as in “Her Majesty’s visit to Chile” not “her Visit to Chile”. Furthermore, your use of capitalization on “Visit” begs me to reevaluate my estimation of your attention to detail as well as your overall intellect.
2. My “nudging proposal” that Don Guill go “suck dick in Argentina” surged apropos of this particular mamón statement of Argentine ego proportions. I highlight the most mamón “section.
“So it’s fine that Argentina is superior to Chile in cuisine, culture and hospitality. It should be easy for anybody to recognize that. Its one possible drawback is a possible B-Side Europe kinda feel. An Argentinean friend told me he is much more stimulated by the history and culture of Spain than that of Argentina. But he’s from Argentina. I think it’s totally fascinating, and I know nothing about it yet, but want to learn — from the gaucho culture to its writers, Ernesto Sabato, Borges, Cortázar.”
Lets continue…on the flipside of:
“TOMÁS VS CHILENO…FIGHT! or is it Chileno v. Tomás
Enjoy Chile, or leave Chile. Colgate or Crest. Is that the mentality? An exploitative north American sampling the local culture and taking pictures? Should I apply for a refund if I’m not satisfied with my experience? This “love it or leave it” mentality suggests that tourism is the only capacity of a foreigner, and it’s insulting.
Xenophobia? Not you Tomás, but [turns to crowd] all of Chile. Okay, not all of Chile, but rather the typical provincial xenophobia that seems to be so common a defense in uncomfortable encounters here. When, on the metro, I complain to people for standing in the doorway as I try to get on, forcing me to push into them and potentially knock the baby out of their arms — they stand there when there’s plenty of room further back — I complain and inevitably will overhear “oh, it’s because he’s a foreigner”.
Or when I knock on a neighbor’s door and ask her to turn her music down, or Tío José, the bus driver who let’s his car alarm whistle for 10 minutes straight, the typical response is: oh, well, in your country…”
1. Xenophobia is described by the American Heritage New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy, Third Edition, as “An unreasonable fear, distrust, or hatred of strangers, foreigners, or anything perceived as foreign or different.”
2. Why does the explanation “because he is a foreigner” count as xenophobia, when you push your way out of the metro. Or for that matter, how does it explain the “typical response,”: oh, well, in your country… Nada que ver. I also push forcefully through the stupid and annoying masses (including students, older women and tough guys) who think that the best way to get on a full, but to-be-empty metro is to stand in front of the doors, blocking efficient exit.
3. Why would you be so forceful so as to “potentially knock the baby out of their arms.” Women with babies have privileged status, in most places. Your baby-jostling force is also called, “being an asshole.”
My theory on you getting screwed by taxi drivers, doormen, neighbors…anybody else?? is because you behave foreign and impetuous, a similar trait characterizing the aristocratic elite of the country. So, consequently you fit into the historical social hierarchy of Chile, a relationship between an all-powerful patron, and his subject, the peon. In this case, you act as the all-powerful patron with people providing you services. But, the difference is that we are not on your fundo, or in your factory, and the peones…the common service-providing people, screw you when they can, how they can, making your life in Chile a big pain in the ass…The doorman comes to mind. Also, remember the first time I met you…the Mayo Incident…OYE!, OYE!, although there were no negative consequences in that case.
“Culture of Exile. Deal with your problems by leaving Chile. Whether you’re an aristocrat packing up when Allende comes into office or a leftist escaping torture and death, Exile has been a prominent feature in Chilean history.
Yet I would caution both Tomás and Pato to be very, very careful when recommending Exit as a solution to anybody unhappy with some or all aspects of Chile. Anyway, Exile is part of your history which you should not forget, but I would humbly recommend you not see it as a solution for those who are dissatisfied with certain aspects of Chile.”
Dude, otro Nada que Ver.
1. I recommended you to leave Chile because it seemed through your blog entries that your experience here was overwhelmingly negative and thus as a consequence you expressed this dissatisfaction by dribbling vitriol all over the people when you write, or act. Maybe you are the same in the US.
2. Exile is a legal method to prevent re-entry into a country by people considered non-grata, or “expulsion from one’s native land by authoritative decree.” (Dictionary.com). It is also defined as “Self-imposed absence from one’s country.” Some people did not want to leave, but were forced to because of threat of death, torture, etc. They were then prevented from returning…turned away at the fucking customs gate at the old Arturo Merino Benitez airport, you know, the long flat one on the right, now used for cargo shipping, and forced to say goodbye to your dying father through the big window, and sent back to England on the same plane you came in on. And, imagine, this guy was a Garcia-Huidobro…talk about last names…imagine the fate of a dirigente of the Communist Party, systematically executed by the Delfin group of the DINA.
3. Your are confusing the two different definitions of exile.
“I’m against whitewashing Chile, bitch. Let’s open our High School history books:
1939 — Controversy over John Steinbeck’s book The Grapes of Wrath led to a decision to ban it from Kern County libraries and schools. The Bakersfield Chamber of Commerce ran a 3-reel film called The Plums of Plenty in rebuttal.”
1. I’m just saying that for the health of all, you should leave, or at least clean-up the acidic spittle from your mouth when you talk.
“PLUMS OF PLENTY!
Sure, I like fresh fruit markets here too, I’m into the authenticity, great prices, and folksy, distinctly Chilean experience. Sure.
But let’s not pretend that Chile is a haven of gusto and good cuisine. Far from it. Sure you can find good food if you really, really look hard.”
1. Please note that there is a big difference between fresh fruit markets (vegetables too) and cuisine. I talked about fresh fruit markets and have no pretense that Chile has good cuisine, although I really don’t eat out that much. When I do its pretty basic. But the basic food is incredible. Lets talk Pernil and Pan Amasado.
2. See this article by the NY Times, which talks about this entire subject.
“And a note about self-criticism, which Chileans like Pato and sometimes you seem to have such a hard time with. I know why it might be hard for you; it might be confused with ‘positive discrimination’ which in simpler words is kinda like self hatred, a lack of feeling of self-worth that Chileans are slowly emerging from after Pinochet. Yet there is a difference, and now is the time for Chileans to acknowledge that difference and learn to constructively criticize themselves.
[Despite being thrown out of the ring Tomas lands easily because he is good at constructively criticizing Chile]. But nevertheless the crowd liked the stunt, and I follow up by yelling:
On the world-scale, nobody really gives a shit about Chile, and so the Plums of Plenty crowd gets away with murder. I give a shit about Chile, and I bitch.”
Bitching is tiresome and don’t shit on Chileans. Don’t denigrate the people for being people. You are in Chile, and thus should be sensitive to Chileans. If your way of life, or way of looking at things is different, so be it. Your criticism frankly made me feel ill at one point and thus my commentary. Maybe its just a question of style.
¡VIVA CHILE MIERDA!